


Pedalo with Teeth

by TedizStalker



Category: Bx: Execute (OFF Fangame), C/S/R (OFF Fangame)
Genre: A nice day out, Gen, It's not Ghost if he's not swearing, Rollercoasters, Some in between slice of life, Teens due to Bad being Bad, This does not take place on Huaso's home file, canon divergence - file hopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:28:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26004958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TedizStalker/pseuds/TedizStalker
Summary: Inspired by some RP on Tumblr. Takes place very shortly after Red Dots.A day off from work, and being told to find something else to do by a sibling, leads to Huaso and Bad Batter rendezvous for a day out in Zone 2 on an unimportant file.
Kudos: 5





	Pedalo with Teeth

**Author's Note:**

> This one's for you, Terry.

It’s a day off well earned.

Dedan won’t miss him today.

After packing his backpack with lunch, Huaso arrives at a random file number of his choosing, in Zone 2. He doesn’t expect Ghost to come visit him for another three days.

So far, everything about it is the same; fuchsia grounds, buildings, fences, deep blue innards of the buildings, a gentle breeze; a mall; a residential area; an amusement park with the world’s lamest rollercoaster; and an air of being desperately safe.

Safety.

Huaso always hated that.

There’s nothing safe about four walls, a roof, a window, a door, and basic luxuries if it means letting one’s guard down long enough for a phantasmagoric pest getting in within these walls. Give him the dead end of a mine tunnel of his making any day.

So, wait, why is he here again?  
Right. Rollercoaster. The one in his home file is not in use, with the rails completely rusted over, and legitimately marked as ‘unsafe’. And without the park’s owner, the place is in a state of disarray.

Bag hitched, he makes his way to _this_ file’s amusement park.

~~

The amusement park here has a few lively inhabitants.

The pedalo maze is a lot bigger than most other iterations, so it took longer for him to find the switch and open up the dangerous rollercoaster area. And the opponent in the balloon game is a good sportsman. The Elsen warns that he’s relatively good at it, and has even, though unintentionally, made Burnts out of sore losers. Huaso promises that he won’t make the same mistake with him.

And after winning a game, he is given a bag of fairy floss.

Sugar.

Another thing Huaso hates.

He’ll be sure to give it to someone else who would happily eat this shit instead of himself.

~~

Today has been a good day!

There have been many phantoms for the monster purifier to heckle out of the library. His older brother told him to go entertain himself; a little file diving wouldn’t hurt. Just don’t fuck it up to a degree that something takes notice of him.

Even if Ghost kept a level tone and asked him _nicely_ , Bad still feels inclined to disobey. But where’s the fun in that? Ghost isn’t here.

As he steps out onto one of the library’s many balconies, he glances over at the amusement park.  
Hold on…  
Isn’t that Ghost’s boyfriend? That harbringer engineer?  
What is he doing here?

“Quack! Quack quackity quack~ I might fuck something up after all~!”

~~

Of course.

 _Of fucking course_ there would be a row of plastic seats, neatly lined up and advertised as the ‘safe’ rollercoaster. And then there’s this one idiot that’s about to burn out _just sitting there._

Huaso preferred the one file where the ‘safe’ rollercoasters were virtual capsules. That file was the best. Even if it lacked the ‘dangerous’ rollercoaster; one could either have a static calm ride, or a bumpy escalated ride in them. It had a screen inside that simulated the thrills, all without risk of literally flying off the rails.

Ignoring that load of bull, the miner moves to get in line for the dangerous rollercoaster.  
Wait. A line? There’s a line now? This has the sick Elsen scratching his head. So he gets in line.

Maybe this file’s Zone 2 is at a stage where the inhabitants were still nice to Japhet, and there are a few good ones around that crave more than tall walls of safety. A little bit of thrill never hurts.

Halfway up the stairs, Huaso gets the impression that there isn’t another inhabitant standing behind him, but someone large. The clouds are thick, so he couldn’t pin out a shadow.

Steeling his nerves, he turns around. And nearly fell back on the next step in surprise.

“Ah, h-hello.” he nearly wheezes, collecting himself and taking another step up. “B-Bad, isn’ it?”  
The miner won’t admit it upfront, but Bad _can_ be scary. Especially after the wrist poisoning incident.

“Hello, quack. What brings you to this file?”

“The rollercoaster at home is unusable, an’ today’s my day off. I take it Ghost is busy today?”

“If you call volunteer work at a library ‘busy’, I guess so.”

The line moves up, and Huaso takes two steps up, while still facing the swan.

“I’m sorry about that one night where I poisoned ya. Ya didn’ suffer too much in repercussions, did ya?”

“It felt like pins and needles. Like my hand fell asleep.” Bad replies, almost trying to wave it off, “I kind of deserved it. Ghost also said the first chance I get, I should apologize for trying to eat you.”

But it _is_ in his nature to try and piss off his brother. And Huaso was, unfortunately, in the crossfire.

The line moves up again, and the two take another few steps up.

“Alright, I’ll forgive ya. But seriously, don’ try that again in the future.” Huaso warns, nearly poking the monster purifier on the snout, “I don’ want ya gettin’ sick.”

“That’s awfully selfless of you, even though this is the second time we had a chat. First time without my brother being overprotective. Quack.”

“Maybe he has a reason.”

Bad glances around. So many inhabitants on the stairs. He could eat some of them, but they haven’t called him out on his lack-of usefulness. And Huaso is right there. Surely there are some habits that have rubbed off from Ghost.  
Although Huaso did say that he takes no joy to poison him.

The line moves up again, and before they know it, the harbringer and purifier are at the front of the queue.

“Can we sit up front?” Bad asks, a grin spreading across his maw.

“There’s a box that takes a photo. I don’ see why not.”

Once seated and secured in the train, Huaso holds onto the brace. It hasn’t even left the starting station, and there are still some inhabitants boarding.

“Quack.”

“Say, why is it that ya quack?” Huaso asks. It seems like a sound Bad would make at a given, mimicking ducks, or even a cygnus.

“I quack because…”

Bad gives pause, not bothered by the train that is on the move, and on the climb, too.

“I don’t know about you, but lots of people see me as a monster. I like to disagree. I believe I’m a swan.”

“A swan, huh?” Huaso chuckles. He looks more like a crocodile than a swan, but that’s his opinion. And if a monster swan is Bad’s opinionated view of himself, who is he to change it? Everyone is beautiful; it matters not on the outside, but it’s also pending on the inside as well.

“Quack. Do you agree that I’m a swan?”

“Later; the drop’s right ahead.”

Huaso fixes his grip on the brace before the plunge, letting out a holler of delight. He didn’t notice the flash of the camera going off.

And just like that, the train ride is over.

~~

“Here are your photos.” the inhabitant in the booth says, not at all phased by Bad’s appearance. But he did start to look a little queasy the longer Huaso stuck around.

Most of the inhabitants that boarded the train appeared to be on the same boat.

“Thank ya. I’ll have a look later.” Huaso says, almost tipping his hard hat as he takes his.

Bad grins again as he looks at his photo. The close friend of his brother had a blast on the ride, clearly. But if he had an opinion, the purifier swan riding up front next to him upstaged his enthusiasm. It sure beats the mundane things in life. Pretty sure one or two inhabitants were just threatening to go burnt and ruin the experience for the others, but luckily, none of that happened here. Maybe there are more spectres to purify…

The monster purifier looks at Huaso. One of the things his brother mentioned is that he doesn’t smell bad, but tastes awful-- that is, assuming that Ghost got a lick in before.

Huaso freezes when he feels a lick up the back of his neck, eyes wide in the goggles. “What the fuck?” he wheezes out in a startled whine.

“Pfft… you taste like charcoal and sugar.” Bad admits, making a face of disgust. Not something he would expect to taste if he were to try and eat an inhabitant. But, then again, Huaso isn’t like the other inhabitants.

“Yain’t like ya brother that’s immune for an obvious reason; Ya could git sick.”

“I’ve been told that I have a robust immune system. I rarely get sick.”

“At least ya didn’ lick my claws. Taste like vanilla, until it hits yer stomach, where it feels like ya ate a disease ridden dead rat.”

“I’ve eaten rats before; they taste better than you!”

Bad Batter laughs, but it sounded more like a duck being horrifically murdered than actual laughter.

The laughter was cut off when the next train failed to stop by the end station as it shot past; some inhabitants screamed as it flew off the rails and landed in the plastic. Thankfully, it is shallow, so it wouldn’t sink very far.

“I guess the ride’s outta order.”

~~

Oh yeah. He still has the unopened bag of fairy floss.

“Are you going to eat that?” Bad asks in his usual whisper-like tone.

“Nah, I hate sugar.” Huaso admits, eyes half lidded within the goggles and its imprisoned content.

“Why do you hate sugar? It’s used in a lot of things; cake, ice cream, lollies, chocolate…”

“Because buddy, an’ I’m sure ya got _some_ recollection of this, the sugar used within the Zones came from the ashes of fallen inhabitants. It’s also part of the reason why I’m like this. Ask ya brother ‘bout it; he knows.”

Huaso continues to look at the bag of cotton candy with disgust.

“If you don’t want it, can I have it?”

“Yeah, sure.” the harbringer nonchalantly holds it out for the purifier to take it into his own hands? Claws? Maybe.

“I’d rather take my chances with a sandwich stuffed with golden flesh jerky than open that up. An’ by Alpha, if ya remember how well dinner went, I can’t eat wheat. Or lettuce. Or pumpkin. Or jus’ about anythin’ that grows from the dirt. With mushrooms an’ potatoes bein’ an exception for some odd reason or another.”

Bad examines the bag of cotton candy. So if Huaso can’t eat plants, and if most of the sugar back home is grown as sugar canes, beetroots, honey which requires bees to interact with flowers, and maybe extracted from fruit, then the sugar he is limited to eating is…

“You know, I won’t look at an inhabitant the same way if he’s just a pile of purified ashes. Quack.”

“Well, good.”

“It also explains why you taste like charcoal and sugar. You’re already burnt.”

“Yes, I’m burnt, granted. But I ain’t hostile. An’ the other nerds ain’t in a tizzy panic. At least, not yet.”

“If you were to go crazy and stupid like any burnt all of a sudden, should I purify you?”

Huaso perks up at the question, looking at the monster swan. What a legitimate question from the blue. Then again, Bad hasn’t spent as much time with him alone as his older brother has.

“I guess, ya could try? Although, from what I’ve read up; harbringers cannot be purified. An’ furthermore, if I’m dead as a result of yer suppression attempt, I think neither of us would wanna find out how Ghost’ll react.”

“So if it happens, just blunt trauma will do?”

“Or physical anesthetics, as Ghost would call it.”

“Quack.”

Bad nods, grinning once he opens the bag of cotton candy.

“Oh, an’ no attacks with the element of Meat, if ya could please. That’s just a bag of synthetic worms waitin’ ta happen.”

~~

Ghost has told him many times about a case scenario such as this.

The second someone riles Bad up and gives him an excuse to start playing hide-and-snack with the inhabitants, all Shades of Hell breaks loose. It starts with some nerd telling him that he’s a monster duck or crocodile, not a beautiful swan, and that he should stop lying to himself. And that this place is _abso-fucking-lutely_ safe; there are no spectres, there are no ghouls to worry about. He is not wanted if there is nothing there to purify.  
The nerds lie in denial, of course. Huaso and Bad have seen their share of phantoms lurking in dark corners. If Ghost was here, he would have pushed Bad back in line for his aggravating behavior.

But Ghost Batter is not here.

Neither is Huaso the purifier in question.

And he hates the safety addicts to begin with.

But if he sits back and lets this spiral out of control, the damage could be very noticeable for this zone’s Guardian. It’s not Heaven; the inhabitants will not respawn because they are already dead, at least not without the aid of a Joker. A shipment from The Room will replace these lost numbers with new blood.

Finding now to be the appropriate time to intervene, he stands between the third inhabitant that has been cornered in the residential district, and Bad Batter.  
“Hate ta take a page from ya brother, but ‘Fuckin’ Stop’, will ya? Please? Ya had yer fun.”

“Quack.”

“I’m serious. If anythin’ needs maulin’ here, it ain’t the nerds that haven’ gone burnt yet. Please stop.”

“Sorry, but I’m hungry. Quack!”

Huaso is off the menu! Bad nudges the stubborn bringer of diseases aside and advances to the quivering inhabitant.

That’s when he hears a faint splash hitting the metal floor. Followed by a whistle. Curious as to what the sound is, the monster purifier turns around.

As soon as one of his eyes catches sight of blood soaked ghoulish irises, his body freezes. His spine is arrested by a bone chilling sensation. He can’t move.

Huaso gives a sigh, noticing that palsy has taken hold of the purifier. He will have to explain this to Ghost and Batter when he gets him home, hopefully before the gripping effects wear off.  
The slight wheeze from the cornered inhabitant gets his attention.

Right.

Can’t have witnesses that will remember.

One direct eye contact with the Elsen and he falls to the ground, petrified. A swat to the head with the blunt side of the shovel knocks his lights out.  
He would spare Bad the physical anesthetics; he could do with an ear chewing from his brother because by Epsilon, he lacked the capacity or the right to do so.

~~

Once upon a time in Heaven, Bad would have gotten away with eating six inhabitants, and be pulverized into a paste by Ghost for his ill behavior. It was understood that he had gone ahead and hurt his brother’s feelings, like they mean nothing. And, perhaps, as an apology, Ghost would use up a Joker to reverse the damage dealt to him.

Today, Bad fucked up by ignoring Huaso. He might not punch, nor does the poison sting worse than pins and needles, but he’s just as dangerous. And now he knows Huaso really shouldn’t be trifled with. He got away with eating two before he was hit with palsy.

“...And you couldn’t spend a single day without fucking it up, could you? You’re lucky it _was_ a case of Palsy and not a Ghost Combat kicking your sorry ass around!”

Bad doesn’t care. He’s tuning out his older brother’s rant. He still can’t move from the couch he’s resting on. But at least he can hear and now see. A murmured ‘Calm down, Ghost’ from the kitchen before the harbringer returns with his goggles back on, wearing a pair of rubber gloves, holding a hearty helping of Abbadon’s meat on a plate.

“Sorry ‘bout that, Bad. I wasn’ keen on sinkin’ my claws into ya again. So I went for my next line a defense.”

Finding motor function in his jaw and throat, as well as in his hands and arms, Bad gets to eating the offered Abbadon’s meat. It didn’t take long before the effects of Palsy ebb away, and he is able to sit up properly.

“A-Again, sorry.”

“Why are you saying sorry?” Bad asks in his usual whisper, a little baffled. Nobody apologized to him before when he’s been in the wrong.

“Because I hit ya with Cardiac Arrest. An’ well, it jus’ ain’t right.”

“Well, it did the job to stop me. A little pins and needles, I can work through. Not complete motor impairment.”

Ghost shakes his head with a frown, arms folded. His little brother has copped enough punishment after a good day, and a chance rendezvous with Huaso. Perhaps the file would have been fucked if Bad found someone else to hang out with.

“Did someone git under yer skin? Is that what happened?”

“Quack.”

“ANSWER HIS QUESTION, YOU--”

Huaso holds up a hand. Ghost doesn’t need to get loud on his behalf, thanks.

He heaves a sigh. “Listen, I self-ostracized because people talk ill behind my back all the time. It doesn’ help that my prolonged presence will git ‘em sick. Their lack of respect is why I try an’ peacefully coexist, even with my own level of hatred towards them present. Perhaps… if I was a little more chaotic, I would’ve let ya git away with botchin’ the file.”

“Fuck, really?” Ghost unfolds his arms as he looks at the harbringer. Bad gives a snicker after swallowing more of the meat he’s been snacking down.

“Bad, I think there is still room fer us ta become friends. If ya want help purifyin’ the usual riff-raff, I’ll happily loan my shovel. But I ain’t ya guy if ya wanna cause trouble. Maybe there’s a friend out there who’ll delight in that.  
“So, that said; what did someone say that made ya decide yer hungry enough ta try an’ feast anyway?”

Bad takes a moment to think, a frown forming in his pale eyes.

“They said I wasn’t a beautiful swan.”

“Oh fuckin’ boy. Same fuckin’ song and dance from Heaven. Is that all?” the eldest huffed. It’s a good thing Huaso was here; he would have allowed more to fly out of his mouth, and at an increased volume.

“Is that ta both sides of the story, or jus’ one?”

~~

So, aside from attempting to eat three inhabitants within the residential district, today has been a relatively good day. Bad happily shows the picture taken on the rollercoaster to his brothers. How the holy Hell did he convince Huaso to shotgun the front of the train is beyond Ghost, but it’s also part of the whole waiting in line, he guesses.

Huaso was welcome to stay for dinner. And when that was done with, thankfully with no further attempts to eat the sick inhabitant, he gets ready to head back home to sleep the night off before a day of work bothers him. However, he didn’t expect Bad to hit him with another question.

“If Ghost Bat is ‘A fucking disaster with a gigantic heart’, and Batter is ‘a hero who does the right thing’, what does that make me?”

Curious about opinions, huh? Huaso smiles.

“A cuddly pedalo with teeth. I know, those boats don’ come close ta appearin’ as swans, lookin’ more like rubber duckies sometimes, but there are some out there that do imitate a cygnus spot-on. And honestly, swans ain’t cuddly. But you, with yer affable personality, even if it’s often geared for the wrong reasons, leaves me with that impression about ya.”

“So what are the teeth for?”

“Ain’t it obvious? Ya got teeth, while the average swan has their beak with serrated edges. Obviously, ya need more than a swan’s diet ta git by each day, so enjoy the teeth, enjoy the slabs a meat an’ plenty more on the plate. Within reason, of course.”

A cuddly pedalo with teeth. Not bad, but…

“Don’t expect me to ferry you from one shore to the other. I’m a beautiful swan, but I don’t think I can swim as well as one. Quack quack quack~”

Again with the strangled-mauled laughing duck sound. At least he hasn’t called him a base-sliding crocodile.

~~

Huaso’s apology still lingered in Bad’s head as he slid into bed.

Did Ghost ever mention that his friend’s apologies are often misplaced? After all, he was the one that got riled up over some thin-skinned response, not Huaso. But he was stopped with a competence that struck palsy into his core. Being rendered immobile is not fun.  
...Okay, so maybe Huaso’s apology holds a bit of weight.

Should Bad have apologized first? He wasn’t yelled at to fucking stop, just asked nicely in a calm, level tone. And he still chose to ignore him.

Being hit with Palsy is preferable to needing a Joker. He could tell Ghost was relieved once the monster purifier was brought back home. Immobile, but otherwise unharmed and poison-free. And he got a good helping of Abaddon’s meat to recover from it, too!

Tomorrow will be another day.

This pedalo with teeth will find more fun things to do, if his stomach doesn’t get in the way first.


End file.
